We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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