I just made out with a guy for $7.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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