she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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