i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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