I wish you could order shots online.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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