theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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