walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Dignity is for republicans.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
