ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
