I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
