I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
