so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
