I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
the day after is always just damage control
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
