so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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