No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Drake has all the answers
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
