Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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