"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
