girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
