i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
