did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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