I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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