Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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