Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Randomize
