If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
