drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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