Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
