I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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