oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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