I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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