It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize