I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
