i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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