babies were throwing up all over the place
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
