There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
