when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
