Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
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Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
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You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
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