brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
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