kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Randomize
