3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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