this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize