Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
