My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
