I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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