ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize