Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize