I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
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