I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
