She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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