How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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