So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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