For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
