That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Banned from zoo.
Again?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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