dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
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