My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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