she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
