is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize