Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
