So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize