Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
