Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
