U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
